Hello friends, it’s been a while, I’ve been busy making a website, trying to start a business, start a dive bar blog, and getting back surgery, mmmm painkillers, but now i have some extra time to write. First movie back? “The Sleeper”. Hmmm, where to start? I must say that this movie caught me off guard at times, some parts were ridiculous, some parts were violent and realistic, I am not exactly sure what the director was going for here. Justin Russell, writer\director of this fiasco, in his freshman attempt at film making, set out to recreate the long dead genre of 80’s slashers, it’s even available on special edition VHS. I grew up with this shit and it’s one of my favorite genres, so he better recognize before he starts pussyfooting around sacred ground. The stalker is scary…at times. He looks like Meatloaf, laughs like Dr. Giggles and has the eyeballs of a fried flounder. He is creepin’ around this sorority house and calling them up informing the girls which one will die next, then he giggles a lot and writes three Zees over a picture of that victim’s throat. His deaths and methods vary from hand to ax to hammer, which he seems to prefer. I’m trying to be unbiased here, but fuck it, I’m not here to make friends. The killer bashes peoples heads in, which can be frightening until the special effects come on the screen, which i know were meant to duplicate that of a 1981 film, but if I were Tom Savini, I’d find this Justin dude and rip off his dick. I think these dudes who recreate genre films have no hope at an original idea, they lay on a soft blanket of spoof and satire, they feel safe from mistakes because they chalk it up to the genre. I may be out of line here but kiss my ass big guy, you might as well of remade this movie.
I’m not saying I truly hated “The Sleeper”, just saying what I’d change about it, you know, like, more tits…you want to make an 80’s slasher? Put lotsa tits and ass in it…go hardcore even, put in some bush, shower scenes…I am not being a pig ladies, I am being realistic…these guys were smart. I fell into the horror genre because I learned early on that I loved looking at nude females. I made that association from the minute i turned on HBO after midnight. My second change would be effects, that goes with the tone of the movie…the killer violently kills his victim, then you see some shitty special effects poking fun at the genre, ridiculous! It changes the entire tonal value of the film from frightening to silly, well Mr. Russell? Are you making a horror film or a fucking spoof? The marketing got me hooked from the beginning, special edition VHS? Fuck yes! 80s Slasher? Yes again. Maybe it’s the dilaudid or the other peripherals i was on when I watched it but I think the outcome would’ve all been the same. I, of course, encourage you to come to your own conclusions and get back at me to share your opinions. Yes, some aspects are awesome, some have me skeptical. Maybe I am crazy and it’s a genius piece of work that I missed. I seriously doubt it, but it’s possible. Anywho, get back at me and always, thanks for stopping by and reading.
PS-yes please, support independent horror!
Listening to: Antelope “Game Over”, Foo Fighters “Everlong”, Against Me! “Miami”, The Pharcyde “Passing Me By”, Built To Spill “Wherever You Go”, The Pixies “Monkey Gone To Heaven”, The Descendents “Rotting Out”, The Beta Band “Squares”, El Guapo “I Don’t Care”, The Clash “This Is Radio Clash”, The Dead Milkmen “Bitchin’ Camaro”, TV On The Radio “Golden Age”, Tom Petty “I Won’t Back Down”, Bright Eyes “Land Locked Blues”